Dennis Cook
Long rumored to be black because of the surprising Afro seen in older photos. Rose from a lowly Bagger position to Frozen Foods Department Manager in 7 short years at Carter's Foodcenter (Home of the Freshables). Though 6 years removed from college, he still rushes Sigma Chi every Fall. Likes to be called "Cookster".

P.S. He also believes:
- O.J. is still consumed with trying to track down the real killers.
- Kurt Loder is the Walter Kronkite of our generation.
- Jim Varney is a damn fine actor.